Despite the fact that we’re in the middle of a string of UFC events, and this weekend had a bevy of boxing, plus a PFL card, it feels like a down week in MMA. So, now is the perfect time to get weird.
Let’s talk about The Odyssey and MMA fighters.
The MMA Odyssey
Hi Jed! First time, long time!
You’re very smart, so I wanted your opinion: if you were going to film your version of The Odyssey but could only cast MMA fighters, who are you choosing?
Have you been online for the past week? Maybe the last month? Well, in case you are a well-adjusted person who isn’t terminally attached to their Twitter (I am, sue me), Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey came out, and it’s been huge. So, I wanted to draft off that and have some fun, and since I’m in charge here, that’s just what I’m going to do.
By my reckoning, The Odyssey has 11 primary characters. It can be more or less depending on how you want to tell it (it’s a 3,000-year-old story that began as an oral tradition; there is no “right” or “wrong” way to tell it, it’s all interpretations). But doing a 20-person cast for every part would be too much, so instead, I’m sticking with my 10.
- Odysseus — Alexander Volkanovski. As we know from the online discourse, the most important thing when making The Odyssey is to be HiStOrIcAlLy AcCuRaTe! This is an ancient story with pro-active Gods and mythical monsters, so we MUST make sure the cast is all-Greek, or else this whole thing is a sham. Anyway, outside of Volk being half-Greek, he also just sorta seems like the perfect fit for this? Grizzled old veteran who is super smart and well-respected by all? I know the man is playing Joe in Street Fighter, but this feels like the role he was born to play.
- Telemachus — Steve Erceg. Perhaps I’m over-indexing on the Australia connection, but Erceg also just seems like a good fit here. Telemachus is a little in over his head, seems chill, but mostly kinda bores you, and needs a much better fighter to come along and help him get rid of the riffraff.
- Penelope — Alexa Grasso. Penelope is defined by how smart and unwavering she is, and in going down the list, there aren’t that many women’s MMA fighters who stand out for their fight IQ. But Grasso beat Valentina Shevchenko directly as a result of planning around her spinning attacks, plus she also fits the vibe.
- Eumaeus — Eumaeus is literally blindly loyal, and in MMA, that can be hard to come by. Michael Bisping feels a little too on the nose, so I’ll go with Daniel Cormier, who sort of fits the vibe.
- Eurylochus — Michael Chandler. In my version of The Odyssey, Eurylochus — Odysseus’ second-in-command who undermines him — isn’t a villain because he’s a coward; he’s a villain because he’s a bozo. While Volk is doing his best to get them all home, Chandler is out here trying to get the men to Walk On, and See You At The Top, or whatever. He gets eaten by Scilla.
- Antinous — Conor McGregor. Antinous is the leader of the suitors and just a terrible person, all-around. And while I strongly considered Colby Covington for this role, McGregor has some acting experience, and feels like a natural fit for “guy pretending to be good, but is actually terrible.” Plus, how fun would it be to see Volk smoke Conor?
- Athena — Kayla Harrison. First off, Athena is the Goddess of War, so, check. Secondly, because the Gods don’t do too much direct intervention, she’s primarily just an advocate for Odysseus. And if you’ve ever heard Kayla speak, she’s extremely good at putting people over. She’s a natural fit.
- Circe — Ronda Rousey. Can Ronda act? No. But if you gave her the ability to turn men into pigs, Hunter Campbell is about to be bacon. Though I feel like Ronda might not have any beef with Volk, so this still works.
- Calypso — Gina Carano. Gina is definitely a better actress than Ronda, and I have been trying to lean on some acting experience where possible, but I wouldn’t call her “good.” Still, can she play an attractive nymph who seems to be a decent person, but in actuality just kidnaps Odysseus for nearly a decade? Yeah, I think she’s got that in the bag.
- Menelaus — Justin Gaethje. Is Menelaus the smartest guy in the Greek army? No. But he’s not an idiot, and he can fight. And when young Steve Erceg comes calling, the King of Sparta (lightweight) would do his best to help the kid out.
- Polyphemus — Shara Bullet. This joke writes itself.
So, there it is. The MMA Odyssey cast. I welcome your notes.
Conor McGregor
I agree that McGregor will look to fight one more time to get out of his contract.
What I can’t understand is why he didn’t fight Chandler with a compromised pinky toe.
In the grand scheme of thing, we have seen fighters make the walk to the octagon with far worse injuries (cough Dillashaw cough) and far fewer dollars on the line.
Did Conor fumble the bag by dropping out of the fight?
Honestly, no clue. My best guess is that was long enough ago that Conor was not necessarily thinking about getting out of his contract immediately. After all, he had other avenues to make money (Hollywood loomed), and so perhaps he was just genuinely trying to fight out his contract but still win those fights.
Plus, I also think the MVP card had something to do with this. Yes, Conor’s been talking about returning for awhile, but he finally gets it all settled right around the time Netflix puts on an MMA card and he sees how much money is out there for him? It’s possible that’s just a coincidence, but I think once he knew for certain how much money there was to be made outside of the UFC, and realized he doesn’t have many years left in the sport (none, really), he pushed.
World Cup
Of all the players at this World Cup, which three would you bet on to have the most successful MMA careers if they made the switch and committed full-time?
I want to be clear: I have no idea if there are any footballs who like, train MMA, or wrestled in high school or did golden gloves or whatever. This is purely based on vibes.
- Erling Haaland. That dude is like a panther walking around in a human suit.
- Romelu Lukaku. The man is a unit. I would not seek a quarrel with him.
- Kylian Mbappe? The last one is hard as the true answer is probably some Egyptian dude or whatever, but Mbappe is one of the best athletes in the world, so I might just default to him.
If you’ve got a better list, fire away.
Thanks for reading, and thank you to everyone who sent in questions! Do you have any burning questions about things at least somewhat related to combat sports? Then you’re in luck, because every week I put a prompt into The Feed for your questions. Fire them there, and I’ll answer the best ones in the Mailbag and try to get to the rest in the responses.
